We were having some trouble finding a date for the annual Holiday get-together. This bunch is a busy lot: Dad having surgery on December 10 and the endless accompanying doctor and lab visits before that; Carly (of JJVC*) dancing in four Nashville Ballet performances of The Nutcracker and her dad John traveling for work; DDE* leaving for Montana on the 19th; JAJS* on a constant run with two demanding jobs and two little ones. We finally decided that we’d all get together after Carly’s matinee performance on the 5th and that we’d each bring a snack-y thing to share.
They checked in one-by-one: DDE to bring “secret ingredient” meatballs (I know the secret, by the way), JAJS spinach dip and a dessert, G’ma & G’pa sausage balls, and, of course, Dave and I (DD) haven’t decided yet. We don’t have to because we’re the hosts. With the mosts.
All was finally set when Vicky emailed yesterday afternoon for her family, JJVC.
On Sun, Nov 15, 2015 at 1:51 PM, Vicky Graham wrote to the group:We’ll bring an antipasto platter (minus the olives—cause I just can’t do those) and gingerbread cookies.
It only took Jade a few hours to respond.
On Mon, Nov 16, 2015 at 8:20 AM, Jade Graham wrote:No olives!!! I may just have to protest…which seems to be the trendy and fashionable thing to do these days. I may even consider staging a hunger strike (likely not for very long though). You people are prejudiced against the olive…and olive eaters like myself. This is very disconcerting. I tell ya…someone should be losing their job over this…and someone should have to make public apologies….perhaps I’ll contact my Congressperson and demand some new olive discrimination legislation. We should make it a hate crime to not include olives in the antipasto platters. I’m going to put the thought police to work on this whole olive thing….shame on you people and your anti-olive ways…it’s hateful and scandalous.
Grammy jumped in to settle everyone down.
From: Diana Blair Revell Sent: Monday, November 16, 2015 8:57 AM To: Jade Graham; Vicky Graham; Anjie; Revell, Darrin; John Graham; Dana Revell; Dave Revell; Ernest Ethel Blair Subject: Re: Revell/Graham/Blair Holiday Gathering!!!
hahahaha Okay, okay, don’t start a ruckus. I already have some olives–black and green (can I say that)?
I’m your mama. I’m the one who will give you what you want. Just remember that at voting time, okay? And don’t go voting for some cockamamie stiff-haired swaggard.
Daughter-in-law Vicky would not leave it alone.
On Mon, Nov 16, 2015 at 9:41 AM, Vicky Graham wrote:
Ruckus on! I fully own my olive discrimination. I might even rethink my stance on gun control if we could just do something about the olive situation in this country. To really make America great again, we must eradicate them from our society. I say build a wall around all the Mediterranean countries. Until then, we should triple the olive tax. Olive eaters should be forced to register and wear a cardboard sign in public stating their past sin. I will go ahead and put out there that John has relaxed his stance on olives. He’s even gone so far as to not remove them from dishes at restaurants. He is the father of my children and the provider for our family, but I won’t silently sit by like some “Tammy Wynette standing by her man”. I’m interviewing lawyers. If any of those olives so much as even touch my antipasto platter, so help me……
Jade Graham ended it all.
12:49 PM (1 hour ago) to Vicky, me, Anjie, Darrin, John, Dana, Dave, Ernest
That’s funny…I don’t care who ya are…that’s funny.
He’s right. It’s funny. And now you know why we just love getting together. Of course, Vicky’s probably saying she backed him down.
Here’s the code break:
*DDE = Darrin, Dana, & Evan *JJVC = John, Jameson, Vicky, & Carly *JAJS = Jade, Angie, Jaxton, & Savvy *DD = Dave & Di, also written D&D
4 thoughts on “Olives for Christmas”
So, here is my 2 cents worth….Jade there will be olives for you anytime you cross the threshold here….and Vicky they will be in hiding when you are around. But you all are the most entertaining…………
Too late for a wall. Olives have already immigrated to California and refuse to be uprooted.
If I never saw an olive again in my life, I woudln’t even notice because olives don’t register on me, ever. I have not once in my life given a nanosecond of thought to olives. In a deli they are invisible to me. Usually a salt-laden little chewy thing which contains a pit that can break your teef. Unlike all the seemingly useless things in nature — wasps, slugs, worms, squirrels, spiders, for instance, all of which have a use — olives truly ARE useless. If every olive on the planet were to disappear instantly, nothing untoward would happen to our planet, and two thirds of the people on earth wouldn’t even notice.
That being said, Diana’s blog with the banter back and forth is hilarious. My kind of family and group of friends for sure. When can I come visit y’all?
Any time, Cal. You have a standing invite, holiday or otherwise!