Always We Begin Again–Happy 2014

I jumped from my chair when something hit the window beside my desk. A cardinal…on the pavement of the patio. And as quickly as my feet brushed the floor, a Cooper’s hawk snagged the wounded redbird and took to the sky. I breathed jagged ins and outs. My heart sped.
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“This is nature,” I told myself. But it’s the piece of nature that I do not love. It’s been several days now, and I still semi-shudder at the thought of that few seconds.
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I have watched the hawks swoop upon the back yard for months. What I expected was that one of the doves who gleans the leavings from the feeders would be swept away, one of these birds that my bird-hunting Uncle Hugh Lee would never fire upon. “The dove is the Bird of Peace,” he said. “You don’t kill a Bird of Peace.”

The first year on the ravine, we installed birdfeeders to mimic the layout of the yard at our former home. When our expected yellow finches did not arrive, we changed the seed and the feeders, and greedy blackbirds descended in flocks. We learned that blackbirds do not like safflower seeds, but everybody else does, so we changed the menu again and welcomed cardinals, woodpeckers, chickadees, purple finches, and all the common varieties of wrens and sparrows. Doves gathered under the feeders to clean up. For three years, we had Lonesome. Who knows what happened to his partner, maybe a hawk. And now, who knows what happened to Lonesome. The doves now congregate in even numbers.

So much of our life here has been tied to the animals. The first two years, there was the skulk of foxes in the ravine. Lots of foxes, including two litters of pups, three in one and five in the other. One of the yearlings nested under the ramp to the porch on the side of the house, always taking leave before the humans might interfere. We watched them dig for moles and bury food for future meals.They caught pieces of hotdogs in mid-air that the neighbor tossed to them in the summer dusk. We noticed that, while they were off the ground, they were snapping up fireflies. When we returned to The Compound following some evening outing, the headlights caught the eyes of little heads peeking up over the ravine banks. It seemed that they’d been waiting up for us.

The raccoons showed themselves almost immediately. There were three kits that trailed after a waddly-wooly mama when she came to the yard to scout for food leavings, and then a hulking old fellow, biggest raccoon I’d ever seen, completely silver, that we did not see again after that first year. One evening, Dave and I watched a raccoon scale one of the tall trees, probably fifty feet, to rest in a crook between two of the top branches. We figured he was a young one.

The feral calico cat came the first year. We are such creative and original thinkers that we named her Kitty. We watched her stand off a fox one afternoon between our yard and the neighbor’s. She crouched to the ground and backed the vixen up with a threatening feline crawl, until the foxy lady acknowledged Kitty’s superiority by turning white-tipped tail to run. Kitty and I became so close that sometimes she would allow me within fifteen feet of her, then she was gone. No, I mean really gone–for two years. One spring morning, I heard her calling for breakfast from beneath my bathroom window, sitting kitty-pretty as if we’d had tea the afternoon before. She hung around for a year after our Welcome Back and then something caught her, or caught her eye, the something probably akin to a better living arrangement.

We found companionship living on the banks of this old gulch that we call The Ravine. My eighty-something-year-old dad, Grandpa, frequented the ravine by propping a tall ladder’s base against a big tree. He said if he missed a rung on the way down, he’d just slide.
“What about the trip back up?” I asked.
“I hold on with both hands,” he said.
Grandpa dug through the tangles of brush and vine to judiciously remove the deadliest tree-chokers. We laid out something of a feeding station so that we could better watch the comings and goings of our new friends. Grandpa and Grandma keep the blinds wide open in their upstairs den so that they don’t miss the squirrels’ antics in the tall trees on the west side.

One season brought a doe and two spotted fawns. They bedded down in the across-the-street neighbors’ back yard. When Mama left, the twins stayed, mowing down roses, morning glories, and turnip greens. And then they were gone, we guessed to join the protected herd two miles away at the agricultural center.

The community of foxes scattered. After a few weeks, we saw sarcoptic mange on the few young males remaining. It’s the same mange that dogs get. We read up on the disease, especially in foxes, and bought injectible Ivermectin to shoot into treats. It was a long shot, according to all the literature, but we tried to save them.

Once the foxes were gone, rabbits appeared. One little bunny hopped around on the porch just in time for Easter.

Last spring, we watched a fat old mama raccoon stagger across the back yard at 6:00 A.M. like a drunk coming off an all-nighter. She climbed the steps to Grandpa and Grandma’s apartment, hopped onto the rail nearest the wall, shinnied up the porch column, and disappeared. We’d suspected squirrels in their attic space and had already called a carpenter to further seal in the eaves on the porch. We never thought about a nesting raccoon. Before Trevor, our construction guy, finished the work that might seal a creature in, he toured the attic space and pronounced it empty–and very clean.

Groundhogs greeted us early on, without damage, until they discovered just how good Grandpa’s produce tastes at its youngest and most tender. He named them, set live traps, and somebody (Dave or daughter-in-law Vicky, that tiny little hoss of a woman) hauled them, one by one–Fatso, Big Boy, Chubby, and all the others–to the spacious agricultural center property. All reports indicate that they hunkered down and belly-scrambled to the care and prosperity of the burgeoning Ag Center Clan. But last year, new-to-the-compound Gordo foiled us all, despite numerous attempts to move him to a better neighborhood for groundhogs. In late fall, neighbors sighted Gordo pinned to the ground by a coyote in their back yard, but we expect him back.  The neighbor showered the coyote with a hail of BB’s and when the tormenter loosened his grip, the un-injured Gordo made fast to the safety of the ravine. In April or May, we’ll all be complaining about the havoc among the gardens, both flower and vegetable. Gordo adores morning glories and cosmos, squash and Blue Lake bunch beans.

The intersection of human animals and their less domesticated relatives in the kingdom is a delicate point of balance. Every movement by either man or beast, any aid from the higher-ups in the food chain, and any modification made to the combined home turf informs and directs change for each individual. The great naturalist John Muir said it best, “When we tug at a single thing in nature, we find it attached to the rest of the world.”

We feed the songbirds, and a hawk makes dinner of the prettiest one. We clear the vines that threaten to deaden the trees that anchor and define the ravine, and the vixens label us as too familiar. We feed the raccoons to deter them from the garbage cans, and they take up residence in the attic of the apartment. We seal them out and put them back in their place, the place we invited them from when we first fed them.

We continually re-evaluate our relationships to these animals, some who gathered here before someone thought of building brick ranch-style homes alone this great ditch, and others because someone did.

The thermometer read 12 degrees this morning–in the sun. The purple finches and chickadees flitted and darted between the almost-empty feeders. The doves, in their puffiest winter coats, gleaned whatever spill they could find.
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The supremely beautiful cardinals, male and female, orange beaks shining, took turns with the remaining small pieces of bread Grandma and Grandpa tossed from their balcony porch yesterday. The usually-present squirrels stayed in their warm beds. After I finished my third cup of coffee, I layered up to fill the feeders, and when I came back inside to the warmth of The Cellar, I ordered another fifty pound bag of safflower seed.

 

Maybe the coyote was just passing through. Maybe a family of foxes will birth babies here again. Maybe the hawk sightings will be fewer. Maybe Kitty will return for a twelve-month stint. Maybe Gordo will decide he really doesn’t like morning glories, after all.

Happy New Year~from all of us here On the Ravine.


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Flat Emma T. Does Nashville

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Surprise! Flat Emma T. arrived in Mid-November to spend some time with the folks in The Compound. Flat Emma T. is modeled on my great-niece, Emma, who is in Ms. Shivley’s class at Blue Oak School in Cameron Park, California. Cameron Park is in the metropolitan area of Sacramento. If you don’t know about “the Flats”, just google Flat Stanley and  you’ll get the whole story.

Flat Emma arrived just a wee tad late to enjoy a fun trip to the Biltmore Mansion in North Carolina, but just in time for some fast-paced activity with Aunt Diana and Uncle Dave, Grandmama, and Grandpapa. She was very helpful and considerate–a wonderful guest. Image

First order of business: second-eye cataract surgery for Aunt Diana. This picture was taken quite early in the morning. Looks like Aunt Diana is wearing her jammies! The next morning, it was off to Dr. Rebecca Taylor’s office to check the new lens. Dr. Taylor showed Emma how to do an eye ex-Image

amination and was impressed that Emma learned so fast.

That day was also Uncle Dave’s birthday. Emma offered to bake a lemon pie, his favorite, but Uncle Dave said he’d pass this time since he and Aunt Diana were doing WeightWatchers and Thanksgiving was going to be hard enough without adding another day of stress. On Thanksgiving Day, all of us piled into the van to drive over to the home of Emma’s mama’s first cousin, John. John’s family–

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wife Vicky, Jameson, and Carly–served Thanksgiving brunch. Emma met the youngest (and most popular) member of the clan, Jaxton. Jaxton’s parents are Jade and Anjie; Jade is another “mama’s cousin”. ImageOn the left, you see who’s holding Jaxton? Why, it’s Grandmama! We all tried not to eat too much because we were having Thanksgiving dinner at 4:00 P.M. When we got home, Emma helped decorate the dining table. Grandpapa was all dressed up for Thanksgiving, and he said the blessing.

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After dinner, Emma was so tired that she just flopped on the recliner in Aunt Diana’s office. All of a sudden, she remembered that she was supposed to be helpful, and she got right up and helped dry and put away the silverware.

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After that, she said she just really had to go to bed so she went right back to the recliner and slept all night, never did even put on her nightgown!

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On Friday evening, Emma was asked out to go to see the Christmas lights at Opryland Hotel. She borrowed our camera to take some pictures. Wow! And one day she got to see The Parthenon, a full-size replica of the ancient Greek Parthenon–and it is right in Centennial Park in Nashville.Parthenon in Nashville

What a good time Emma had in Nashville–and so did we. Early during the next week, Emma said her goodbyes to Uncle Dave, Grandmama, and Grandpapa.  Aunt Diana said Emma could do one last thing before she left: she could go to the insurance lady’s office where Aunt Diana was going to sign up for one of the new ACA exchange plans (Affordable Care Act–some people call it Obamacare). ObamacareAunt Diana says she was fortunate to already have health insurance but it cost way too much. So Emma listened in when Miss Linda explained the exchange plans and found out that Aunt Diana was going to save a whole bunch of money by going on a new plan, something that would not have been possible before the ACA.

“Emma,” Aunt Diana said, “I think we better get you on your way. You know, you really need to get to your next stop in order to get your holiday shopping done, if you’re going to do any.”

The whole family enjoyed Emma. We hope Emma has many more adventures on her trip around the country. We wish all good things for everyone in Ms. Shivley’s class!

When the blind lead the blind…

Both wind up in the ditch. from somewhere in Proverbs

Around these parts, we could substitute “ravine” for “ditch”.

I am in awe.

I never was blind, but I do have a case of cataracts. Actually, I only have one left, to
be replaced with one that somebody fashioned from some form of plastic. Next Tuesday afternoon, as soon as the fogginess from the second surgery lifts, I’m going to walk slowly around The Compound and look at everything through new eyes. I’ve already been tempted to make that trip, as I’m so totally astounded by this first lens replacement, but I decided to wait for the full effect.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to see better. I got glasses the summer I turned eight. I’m piling up glasses to donate, the ones that I’ve kept just in case. I think there are seven pairs. That may be a tenth of the number I’ve worn since third grade, not to mention the contact lenses. Except for two pair, my contact lenses have always been “hard”, or later on, gas-permeable. I was hoping someone could use them. I have twenty of those; not twenty pairs, just twenty. I didn’t start keeping the lenses until twenty-five years ago. Sadly, contact lenses are not reusable, even the hard ones. I’m thinking of making a mosaic of some kind with those.

...and that's not even all of them.
…and that’s not even all of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last night, I decided that I would be okay, even grateful, if this were as good as it gets. I have the right lenses punched out of three pairs of glasses, and under one of those half-pairs, a skinny pair of no-rim readers. I can walk around and I can read. But the sweet, young surgeon promises even better things next Tuesday. She grins all the time, even when she’s talking.

Thanksgiving Day is almost here. Several of my friends post a gratitude item every day leading to the actual holiday. I’m not participating daily, but here’s what I’ve learned this week: I am thankful for my sight, poor as it has been, because there are so many who don’t see at all. Next, I am thankful for glasses, those magical slivers of glass-like plastic that allow so many of us to read, write, drive, walk around, recognize, witness, notice, peek, gaze, glimpse, behold, view, observe, examine, identify, watch, look…lay eyes on. I’m grateful for contact lenses, too, that gave me even better vision and halted my frequent prescription changes.

And I am thankful for research and development of improvements to sight, surgeons and assistants who wield the instruments, and support people who prepare, soothe, and clean up. These people I thank just lead me back to my own family, the ones who take care of me, their major caregiver. Mom’s always been far-sighted so she threads needles for me, and she feeds me when I can’t cook for all of us. Dad plants flowers and bushes for me since bending and lifting is prohibited for a couple of weeks. He does my gardening when I can’t be outside in high pollen counts because of asthma, too. Dave does it all…and that includes listening to my enthusiastic babble about my new eyeball.

When I look at this pile of glasses and contact lenses, I don’t see anything bad, not one dollar resented. I am just relieved, even happy, that I was always able to buy them. Some somebodies somewhere are surely to be as surprised as I was when I got my first pair of horn-rims in a delightful cat’s eye shape. Dad was driving us home from town, past the farm where a big red Hereford stood in the same place every afternoon.

“It’s not a cow,” I said. “It’s not a cow.”

My mother turned in her seat. “What’s not a cow?”

“That truck. That old red pickup truck in the ditch. I thought it was a cow.”

Of Cataracts and Captains: Everything Gonna Be Okay

Dave and I rarely go out to see a movie. We’re like a lot of other “old folks” who prefer to watch movies via Netflix or Amazon in the comfort and slouchy dress of our den. But, Tuesday, when I was on the way home from an appointment with the eye guy, Dave said we were going to see the 1:40 showing of Captain Phillips.
He added that Mom would be serving lunch at 12:30 so we would need to eat and run. 

I said okay. I was already in something of a daze. Dr. J had dilated my eyes and, furthermore, had informpirate_cuteed me that his surgeon friend would take my cataracts out and put new lenses in before the end of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I want cataract surgery. I’ve been praying for cataracts for twenty-five years, since the day the ophthalmologist told me that’s the only way I’d get my wonky vision fixed.

At my May appointment, Dr. J did not change my prescription. Instead, he said that the beginnings of cataracts were causing blurring and glare and all the typical cataract symptoms.

“Can I have surgery?” I asked.

“Not yet,” was the answer. “Come back to see me in six months.”

I was supposed to go back in November but things couldn’t wait, and yet, after he gave me the pronouncement on Tuesday, I said, “I just can’t believe it’s my cataracts causing these problems.”

Dr J answered, “And now we know why I’m the eye doctor and you write stories.”

We both laughed out loud, along with the practice administrator who was acting as my nurse/tech for the day. (The clinic was overrun so the boss had to come out of his office.)

I was shocked, surprised, flummoxed. I expected to get a new glasses prescription, and maybe-oh-maybe get lens implants sometime in late 2014. Dr. J explained that the earlier cataracts start, the faster they seem to progress. He also said some of the ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ pills I’ve swallowed during the last couple of years hurried things along. I shyly admitted that I also went outside and stood in the sun without sunglasses, too, another aid to cataract progression. (I said I wanted cataracts, okay?)

“Dave,” I said, “I’m going to have cataract surgery.”

“When?”

“Soon. Before the end of the year.”

“Huh. Well, you know what Captain Phillips is about, don’t you? It’s the story of that ship the Somali pirates hijacked, remember?”

“Yeah, okay. Well, tell Mom I’m on my way.”

We ate a leisurely dinner of chicken and dumplings, one of Mom’s specialties, and headed for the theatre. I drove, and wondered why I would want to do that since I really don’t see so well.

We saved fifty cents each at the box office as we got the senior rate. When we smelled the popcorn, we knew we had to have it. There was ample time for Dave to calculate the best option between a small bag and one large drink, or the medium combo of a bigger bag of popcorn and two medium drinks. He can’t help it. He’s a retired accountant and he counts everything. We got the combo.

When we got to our seats, I asked Dave, “This turns out okay, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t you ever watch the news?” he asked.

“Yeah, but sometimes they change the story in the movie,” I answered.

“Everything turns out alright,” he said.

In the opening scene of the movie, Captain Phillips and his wife are in the car together, on the way to the airport. He’s going to sea. They talk about whether their children are fit for this new world we live in. When they get to the airport, Andrea assures her husband that everything will be fine and they kiss goodbye. 

Fifteen minutes into the movie, we were done with popcorn. I set the half-full bag on the seat beside me and Dave said we could take the extra home. I told him he could have it because I don’t like leftover popcorn.

The head hijacker’s name is Muse. Muse, saying that he knows Phillips is American, asks the captain, “But what’s your tribe?”

“Oh, well, I’m Irish,” Phillips says, and Muse calls him Irish for the rest of the movie.

Just about the time Muse reassures Phillips for the first time, “Everything gonna be okay, Irish,” Dave punched me with his elbow.

“Give me the popcorn bag,” I heard him say.

He buried his head in that popcorn. I wondered how he could be hungry. Just a couple of minutes later, he got up and left with the popcorn.

It finally occurred to me that he wasn’t hungry, but was using the popcorn bag for, well, you know . . . He was sick. I got up and met him in the hallway on his way back. He was carrying the bag.

“I didn’t know what happened to you,” I said.

“I said, ‘Hand me that popcorn bag, I’m going to be sick,'” he said.

“Didn’t hear you. Are you having chest pains?”

“No. It’s my stomach.”

“Is your arm numb?”

“No. It’s my stomach. I’ll be okay. I’m just going to stand down here for a while where I can watch the movie.”

“Let’s go home.”

“No. I’ll be okay in a few minutes.”

“Then I’m staying with you.”

“I guess we won’t be taking any popcorn home,” he said.

“Don’t make me throw up,” I said.

“Why don’t you go on back to our seats? I’ll be up there in a few minutes.”

“No. I’m staying here with you.”

We leaned our heads over the handrails, mostly hidden from the audience, until he said, “Oops, I need . . .” and left again for the restroom. I heard Muse say, “Everything gonna be okay.”

Five minutes later, Dave was back. “I need a new bag,” he said. “The bottom of this one is really soggy.”

“We need to go home,” I said.

“No. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll go get one,” I said.

At the now-quiet concession stand I explained, “I need a large, empty bag. My husband is sick.”

The dark-headed young man, so cute, said, “Oh, no, we can’t do that.”

“What? You can’t give me a bag?”

“How about I give you one of these medium sizes?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.”That’s great.” It’s just the large he can’t give me.

“But you’ll have to bring it back.”

“Bring it back. You know why I’m getting this bag . . .”

“Yeah, but they don’t let us give anything away unless we account for it.”

I nodded my head.

Dave was still leaning on the rail. I gave him the new bag.

“I have to take that back,” I said.

“Really?”

“Something about having to account for all the bags,” I said.

“It’s to keep them from giving free popcorn to their friends,” he said.

We both re-assumed our leaning position.

“We need to go home, Dave.”

“No. I’m not going. I’m seeing this movie.”

“Then let’s sit in those front seats there,” I said. “You can run right out here if you need to leave again.”

“Yeah. I’m going to be okay,” he said.

Muse said something similar just as we sat down.

“You could go get our Diet Cokes,” Dave said.

“No, I am not running around, up and down this theater. I have some water in my purse.”

“Okay, I’ll have some.”

I handed the water to him and it might have been another thirty minutes before he said, “I gotta go.”

I knew he didn’t mean he had to go home. I just stayed put and tried to figure out where we were with the captain and the pirates.

Muse knew his hours, and perhaps his minutes, were numbered. And still he persisted in assuring his hostage–and himself, “Everything gonna be okay.”

Dave got back in turn to see the finish.

When they rescue Captain Phillips from his captors, a real-life Navy Corpsman, Danielle Albert, treats him and asks him questions about his injuries. Phillips, in shock, overwhelmed physically and emotionally, wants to know if his family knows that he is okay. She says they know.

Then, I swear, she tells him, “Everything is going to be okay.”

Dave and I were first out the door. I told him I needed to return the bag. “Or,” I said, “maybe I should just toss it. What are they going to do to me?”

Remember I said Dave is an accountant? “No, no,” he said, “if they have to count it . . . Here.” He handed me a folded popcorn bag. “This is the first bag. I’ll keep the other for the car.”

I found my cute boy and held the bag up by one corner.

“I can’t believe you want this yucky bag . . .”

“We have to account,” he said. “Inventory, you know.” He took the bag over the counter with a napkin.

“I still can’t believe you want that.”

“Well, we’re not going to use it.”

“Ohhhh, good,” I said.

I got to the van at the same time as Dave. He climbed in the passenger seat and I drove.

I fussed for a few minutes. “I just wonder if the health department knows they collect bags of vomit in the same place they serve popcorn.”

Dave said, “We’ll have to watch it again on Netflix. Then I can see the parts I missed.”

I didn’t wreck, run a red light, or veer off the road. 

Everything gonna be okay.

Hot Cha-Cha!

Let’s just say that I should remember not to always follow Mom’s advice, especially when it comes to hot peppers.

Hot Pepper Jelly

She needed a project. She decided to make hot pepper jelly since we have peppers of all sorts coming out our ears, we all love the stuff, and we like to gift it for Christmas. I laid in a supply of sugar, pectin, vinegar, and jars.

She’s had a bit of stomach trouble lately so when Dad picked the passel of peppers last week, she wasn’t ready to start canning. Today was the fourth day for those peppers. They were in the fridge, and they looked fine, but it was just time.

I told her I would help her. I put ham and beans on the stove to start some soup for lunch, then I began to chop peppers and boil water.

Mom asked, “What can I do?”

I said, “Why don’t you chop some vegetables for the bean soup?”

We made her a place at the kitchen table where she could sit and slice carrots, celery, and onions for the soup. I said, “Just tell me when you’re ready for me to throw it in the pot.” When I had added her choppings and washed the cutting board, I jarred up the first batch of jelly. It was red. It was also a bit boring, according to Mom.

“I think you should just throw the whole jalapenos in the next batch. We do not want hot pepper jelly that is not hot.”

“Okay, Manuela,” I answered.

A few weeks ago, our long-term cleaning lady asked me if the peppers I just sacked up for her were hot. I said, “Manuela, they burned my hands when I seeded them for salsa.”

She answered, “Seeded them? Huh. I just throw the whole thing in the blender.”

So we did two more batches Manuela-style.

Hot? Yes. Caliente? Si.

My hands burn, my eyes water, my nose runs. Hot. Really hot.

If you want some really, really, really hot pepper jelly, let me know. I know where to find it. I’m calling it “Mama Blair’s Hotter-than-Hale Pepper Jelly”.

And I refuse to listen to that woman again when she counsels me regarding hot pepper jelly. I think she’s a dragon.

Surprises.

Hummingbirds have been scarce this year on the ravine. In early summer, I saw one in the butterfly bed and another in the lower garden. We experienced a veritable hummingbird drought–until August 1, the first day of my birthday month.

I had just set my laptop on the porch table and pulled out my chair, ready to fully appreciate that morning’s soft, cooling rain. For a teensy-tiny second, I heard a small roar and then he whirred past my head, a ruby-throat out of nowhere. I jumped and he lingered so I headed for the den.

“Dave, a hummingbird just buzzed me. Look, I have chill-bumps all over my arms.”

He glanced up from the newspaper.  “You’re kidding.”

Dave was in his third week of jury duty for a medical malpractice suit. He calculated only a few minutes to walk Murphy, shower, and head downtown for the day.

“Maybe it’s my red shirt,” I said.

“Maybe he’s telling you to put some new stuff in the feeders.”

“Yeah, I’m doing that right now.” I quickly brought the sugar solution to a boil, turned the flame off, and set the pot aside to cool. From the kitchen window, I watched chickadees and purple finches on every seed feeder.  “Those gluttonous little birds in the back yard are telling me it’s time to re-fill their feeders. They seem to like to eat when it rains.”

Time to make Dave’s lunch, so I set out all the makings and gave him choices. I enjoyed that new task. This was the first time I’d sent Dave “off to work”.

“Pita?” I asked. The day before he ate leftover rolls from Sunday’s dinner at Demo’s.

“Yes, please.”

“Celery sticks?” He could have had carrots.

I threw in four cherry tomatoes from my plant in the mini-rose garden and five grape-sized from Dad’s overloaded bush at the edge of the vegetables.

“Potato sticks or cheese poufs?”

“Ummm, cheese poufs.” He folded the paper. “What kind of bag are you going to use to hold the brownies?”

When Dave said that the other jurors were bringing treats, I offered my specialty. He informed his new friends on Monday that Wednesday was his day. I baked four pans of brownies, two for the jurors and two for “the court”, two with nuts, two sans.

“They’re in the bag already. I’ve put cardboard between the pans and I tied the handles so you won’t tilt them.”

Murphy didn’t appear ready to rise and it was still raining so I said I would walk her when the showers stopped.

I went back to the porch to watch for the cardinal pair that visits something on the porch every morning. Mama saw me and chattered away. Papa landed on a rail not too far away from the missus and they both gave a look that labeled me as an intruder.

I gathered up Murphy for her first walk and unfurled the garden flag as we headed down the ramp. We stayed on the porch for a few minutes when we returned. I watched seven–seven!–hummingbirds fighting and squawking at each other on the neighbor’s deck.
Hummingbird Feeder

August 14, 8 A.M. 64 degrees on the porch. Sixty-four. I had to find a sweater. 

I know I should be in the gardens. There are crape myrtles to prune, ground ivy to eradicate, and birds to be fed. I’ve watched the hummingbirds for almost an hour now. Their favorite meal this year comes from the elegant, artsy, two-glass bottle feeder, a gift from Sandee and Bob. I’m surprised that they prefer the gorgeous to the crusty old standard. I keep trying to snap a photo with my phone. I need to give up. They’re too quick for me.

They buzz and swoop to the curly willow tree to hide from each other, or maybe just to rest before the next chase, and the tiniest stem on the branch only gives a centimeter when one lands.

Just fifteen days ago, I didn’t think we’d see hummingbirds this year. What a birthday-month surprise!

Dave’s juror buddies loved the brownies. Some of them told him they were the best brownies they’ve ever eaten. They even told Dave to ask me if I would give out my recipe.

I laughed and said, “Won’t they be surprised to find out I use that Hershey’s mix from Sam’s?”

The next day he told them my recipe was an old family secret and I just couldn’t let them have it. I am always surprised when somebody buys that story.

Outwitted and Incensed

Yesterday, I contemplated the day’s accomplishments. I couldn’t come up with much that was productive. The most energy I expended was chasing that #$%!!! groundhog, that gluttonous rodent who considers the morning glories around the birdfeeders his woodchuck feast. I am not enjoying this particular ravine resident.

I looked to Ask.com for the answers this morning. The questions were there, but let me re-do the answers. Those who follow me in the quest for groundhog truth need my accumulated knowledge.

What does a groundhog eat? Look, he is a ground “HOG”. He eats anything. Everything. He is especially fond of what you don’t want him to eat. I saw “Groundhogs are primarily vegetarians with an occasional bug thrown in.” The “occasional bug” must be rare. I’ve seen no reduction in the horde of mosquitoes this year. I do reject the groundhog’s pure vegetarianism, though, because I’ve seen him eat spaghetti. Bolognese. I didn’t care about the pasta but I was so surprised that I changed his name from Chubs to Gordo. I was trying for Italian but Gordo also loves tacos.

What will a groundhog eat? Twenty times his weight in morning glories, cosmos, cantaloupe, watermelon, green beans, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. This animal burrows all winter, only coming out when it’s time to announce the coming of spring on February 2. I’m losing sleep trying to find a way to stop his ravaging and Gordo will curl up and snore all winter. He prepares for this long sleep in the quiet and safe ravine by bulking up at Diana’s Diner.

What does a groundhog do during the day? What??? Have you been listening? He re-landscapes my back yard. Gordo excels at the pruning process. He’s just a little greedy in his choices of prunees. In the lush lower gardens, Gordo ignores the abundance of weeds in favor of the dahlias, rejects out-of-control mint for rudbeckia, and turns up his nose at enough crape myrtle suckers to fill two wheelbarrows to decimate just one blue delphinium.

One of the answers made me laugh out loud. “One way to keep groundhogs away is to spread peppermint oil on whatever you want them to stay away from. You could also plant peppermint plants to keep them away.” Obviously, this person has never been terrorized by mint runners.

Then there was, “Epsom salts placed near or around the runs will keep  the groundhog away.” A white three-quarters of an acre in the winter might be okay, but Punksutawney Gordo doesn’t dine in cold weather. Maybe I could throw up a few striped umbrellas, lay out some Barbie beach towels, and call it a beach.

Here’s another. “Sprinkle cayenne pepper where the groundhog is unwanted” and “You can mix 1 tablespoon of hot sauce with 1 gallon of water and then put it in a sprayer and spray all around your plants”. Another har-de-har echoes around the room. There is not enough cayenne at Kroger to discourage Gordo and until Tabasco signs me for a contract, I bettersave my money for Buffalo wing sauce.

And the last answer in this category began with “Ground hogs have no respect for your garden plants.” This insightful writer wanted me to  “Make sure humans and animals, preferably large ones, frequent the area.” Dave and I are both short but we’re a bit round so I declare that, today, we can be considered “large ones” but when I saw that the large animals we should engage include coyotoes, bobcats, and pit bulls, I promised Murphy we’d pass on this suggestion.

How do you get rid of groundhogs? Until Gordo, Grandpa enjoyed success in live-trapping Gordo’s relatives. Dave is experienced with loading the fur-filled trap into the pickup for a short ride to the State of Tennessee Agricultural Center, home to unwanted critters from miles around. Daughter-in-law Vicky let us in on her destination for two dozen chipmunks and one of Gordo’s distant relatives.One day this week, we cut through the ag center on our way home from downtown.

“There’s where we let the groundhogs loose,” Dave said, pointing to some rolling hills of trees and pasture.

“What if somebody sees you?” I asked.

“Then we just open the door, shove him out, and drive like hell,” he said.

“There’s a ten mile per hour speed limit in here,” I said.

“It’s never happened yet,” he said.

So far, Gordo has avoided the apple-baited snare. Meanwhile, I keep hope alive. I beat on the window, yell, and chase him to the big ditch.

He’s too fast for me. There’s no way I’ll catch him on foot.

Happy Birthday to Me

August 8, 2013.  I celebrate my birthday–a lot. Anybody who knows me has heard of  the “birthday month”. As queen (of only me) I made a rule that a person can call out thirty days for festivities. Okay, some of my chatter is silly humor but since I started this thing, I feel an obligation to carry on. I’ll tell you how it’s done.

You can convene the session at three different points.

If  your birthday is August 8, you could start the hoo-roar on July 8 and end on August 8 with a big shebang. Or you could start on August 8 and proceed to September 8. A third choice is to start on August 1 and tear it up through August 31.

If you make a mistake and begin late, or forget to celebrate one day or maybe have the flu, there are dispensations and do-overs. I usually just don’t feel like celebrating some days so makeup days are definitely necessary. I started on August 1 this year so what with extra days, I figure my celebratory opportunities might run into September.

This day started with phone calls, emails, and Facebook postings. I have roses on my desk and Mom has the bouquet she always gets from me for my birthday. Dave is working on my birthday present, a ceiling fan in the bathroom.

Today is number 64, as in “Will you still feed me, will you still need me when I’m sixty-four?” This birthday, I am more reflective than on previous ones. I don’t begrudge, resent, or grieve turning 64. “Regrets, I’ve had a few . . . ” Maybe, but I don’t remember what they are. Bucket list? Today it seems that my bucket is already full. Mostly I’m bewildered at the arrival of the mid-60s. It’s cliche, isn’t it, for me to ask “How did this happen so fast?” 

Mom, Dad, Dave, and I attended a 50th anniversary party for dear friends a few weeks ago. In the receiving line, the bride asked me, “Can you believe this?”

“No,” I said. “I thought we were all just 50.” I was only 75% kidding.

It is raining and the sky has been dark all day so far. I don’t mind. Dad’s vegetable garden needs the rain. He just planted his fall crop. My flowers appreciate the rain so much more than they do the garden hose. A groundhog is circling the morning glories that climb the bird feeders to chomp off their Southern Belle skirts as high up as he can reach. The songbirds don’t care about the groundhog, or the morning glories, or the grey skies. In fact, the little ones love to eat in the rain. On any given day, I watch the birds–cardinals, blackbirds, chickadees, mockingbirds, purple and house finches, goldfinches, robins, woodpeckers and sapsuckers, sparrows, wrens, doves, and bluebirds. We saw the first hummingbirds just a couple of days ago. 

Both had Southern Belle skirts until the groundhog chowed down.
Both had Southern Belle skirts until the groundhog chowed down.

I love The Ravine today as I loved it at first sight. I am delighted by where I am, content with who I am, and okay with how I am. I am, as the ravine is, beingThe critters that dwell in the big ditch come and go, as we do, except that the interludes between their presence and their absence is lengthier, and seasonal. The permanent going-aways of some are frequent, their life spans shorter than a human’s, their choices of homes more about the natural condition rather than what they can re-fashion. We human residents, the Revells and the Blairs, constantly clean, replace, and renovate little things in the two homes and all these blessed garages.

Sometimes our machinations work, sometimes they don’t. Dave stopped in just now to say that there’s an old “fan box” where he intends to put the ceiling fan and we’ll need to call for help. I find kinship with The Compound as we all become.

I am happy with my beloved house companions; Dave, Dad, Mom, and Murphy. They are, as I am, perfect in their imperfections of change and aging. Mom and Dad express surprise at being in their 80s. Dave can’t believe he’s 70 and neither can I. We call Murphy our puppy but she hobbles around sometimes with arthritis.

The birthday dinner today is actually a mid-afternoon snack with Mom and Dad. We’ll eat little steak bites, shrimp, cheese, and vegetables. Maybe there will be a glass of wine. I do have a cold bottle of prosecco. It’s been rolling around in The Cellar frig for months.

Happy Birthday, Who Are You?

Happy Birthday, America.

I hear you answer, America, “Who are you talking to?”

“The United States of America,” I say.

I can name those fifty united states if you give me enough time and when I’m finished, we’ll have a list of the fifty states. And they are not the America having a birthday.

Am I America? We often hear that America is her people. On this Independence Day morning, I am on the porch in low light. It’s raining, something I wished for last evening when I was playing in some mulch. Sometimes, America is the country that got what she wished for. But what she wished for, America also fought for, and millions shed blood for.

So, is America an idea, or maybe a condition? Freedom. Liberty. Yes, that’s it. But we were not always fighting for independence, and when we staged that first big revolt that led to the creation of these United States, we did not fight for the independence of all people. We fought about freedom for all people many decades later.

I have arrived at my personal explanation of who and what America is. America is a contract, a binding contract. Our forefathers eventually put together a contract called The Constitution, and like the parties to an endless contract–say, marriage–we’ve been arguing ever since about what the contract means.

When the marriage fails, we get divorced. It’s not that hard to get out of the marriage contract these days. Not so with The Constitution of the United States of America.

This American contract was arranged by those who came before us and we are bound by their arrangement. All parties to the contract have equal responsibility, 1) to remain faithful to that agreement to stick together, and 2) to protect the ability of our countrymen and countrywomen to remain faithful with us. It is that second responsibility that  maintains the existence of political parties, incites our in-fighting,and gives birth to movements regarding the rights of those we have failed to protect. I accept both responsibilities.

I’ve had more than one marriage but I’ll never have another. The one I have now  is the only one for me.

I’ve had only one country and I’ll never have another. This one is the only one for me.

Happy Birthday, America, and God bless the USA.

This IS normal . . . and so is goat’s milk.

Wednesday, June 5          I am on the porch this morning. It rained last night and the temperature is in the low 70s. I should be drinking from that purplePeace Mug Peace mug. Or maybe I am, already.

The Cahoons–Rich and Eunice–are coming tonight. Rich is Dave’s first cousin. There are lot of hilarious stories about mischief surrounding those two and can’t wait to hear some more, or maybe even the same ones I’ve heard before.

I love company. I like cooking and serving and talking. I even enjoy the preparations. Two days ago, when Dave was working furiously on some decorating project for the porch, he mentioned that I seem to procrastinate these things until company is coming. He pointed out that I’ve had the old windows he worked on for at least two months.

“You’re right,” I said. “Company coming seems to get your attention.”

So now the rotten old salvaged windows are hung on the porch along with some other wall decor. Today we’ll clean the porch and make the bed. Dave will pick up a few items from the grocery store and we’ll be good to go for Rich and Eunice.

Dad and I are working on a project on the grounds, one that will not be hurried. Last summer, we lost almost all of our roses to the unstoppable RRV (Rose Rosette Virus). I determined to turn the rose garden around the patio into a butterfly garden. I started collecting plants last fall. There were asters and Rudbeckia on one nursery markdown table, and gaura and lavender on another. I moved irises and daylilies from the lower gardens. This spring I dug in dahlias, red penstemon, blue delphinium, and peonies.

The veronica I nursed in a long planter was ready–and so were the weeds. And then there was the egg rock, maybe 250 pounds of the stuff that I unwisely spread around the roses three or four years ago. Most of it sank into the dirt. I knew the day would come . . .

After I dug a few feet of rocks, and washed them, and stored them in crates, Dad stepped in.

“Now, Sis”, he said, “I want to help and I can. I can take my pick and just go around that bed and put those rocks in my wheelbarrow. Then I can take my hoe and scrape out that grass and weeds. You need help.”

He was right. Yesterday morning, Dad and I attacked the project. He dug rocks and I dug weeds. The ground was wet and it rained twice more, sending us to the Rubbermaid chairs under the apartment’s porch overhang. Mom and Dave called on the way to the Y to suggest that they stop for takeout at Captain D’s on their way home. I asked for fish and coleslaw for me, catfish for Dad. At a little after noon, we ran for cover for the last time. I scraped and washed off mud outside so as not to clog the shower.

Dad and I were spent, but fish tasted good and it felt even better to sit around Mom’s kitchen table.

“Mom,” I said, “I have to go over to East Nashville this afternoon to pick up that CSA box.” A friend left town and asked if we could use the groceries since she had already paid for them in her membership.

“Yes,” Mom said, “I want to ride along.”

I made it to the couch in The Cellar, trained the standing fan on myself, and started a short video on a free DVD that came in the mail from something called Spiritual Cinema Associates. I dozed but I know I did not sleep because I can remember the story line from the film. Dave returned from running errands just in time for Mom and me to use the van.

I-24 was a mess but we were early because I got the time mixed up.We sat in the church parking lot and talked of friends, gardening, and quilts. I told Mom we best go home through town, which means across the bridge, skirt the city, and head south.

When the truck arrived, I was the first to receive my box of fresh-from-the-farm goodies.

“Wait,” the driver said as I started to walk away, “Here’s your milk.”

I opened the box in the back of the van and Mom called over her shoulder, “What’s in there?”

“Oh, let’s see. There’sa huge head of romaine, a few yellow squash, broccoli, onions, peas all over the place, eggs, cheese . . .   Man-oh-man, these strawberries smell good.” Pause. “And they taste like strawberries, too.”

“Bring me one,” she said. (“One” means a handful, in case you don’t understand Mom-speak.)

I slid into the driver’s seat and dropped the strawberries into her palm. “Look, Mom, we got goat’s milk.” I held up the plastic jug of milk, dripping  cold water from its traveling ice bath.

“I have never tasted goat’s milk,” she said.

I opened the top. “Oh, dear, it’s frozen. No, wait. That’s cream.” I replaced the top, gave it a few hard shakes, and handed it to her.

“Wow,” she said. “I love it. Oh, boy.” She took a few more sips.

“Okay,” I said. “You can have it–when we get home.” I took it from her and got out to place it in my cooler bag in the back.

“We’re ready to roll,” I said. We crossed the bridge and turned up 2nd Avenue. That’s when we were reminded that the CMA Music Festival was in full swing, with 250,000 country music fans let loose in the city and a dozen city streets closed off for the parade and Block Party.

We skirted the city, alright . . . slowly. After about fifteen minutes of sitting, Mom mumbled, “I wish I had that goat’s milk.”

“I’m just hoping we get home before Rich and Eunice arrive,” I answered.

***